Why is this so weird?

Take a second and look at this...
What is it that makes this picture so captivating? Maybe it's just someone messing with people because those are all thought provoking words in general. Or maybe it sort of says that all these parts of life aren't as separate as we might want to believe... or maybe not? hehe

Talk to me!

This weekend has been insane for me!

There have been some awesome times of wickedness and fun that were sooo cool and should deffinitely happen again.

There have been moments of such extreme annoyance that I almost felt like the people that I normally rely on to be constants for me seemed like they were my enemies.

How I have come to such a state of peace after all such transpiring is so amazingly beyond belief that I would have laughed at you for even suggesting it might happen not more than a few hours ago. I would like to send out a message to everyone that is equally as frustrated as I was (trust me, I don't think you could have gotten more frustrated). No matter how much the world seemed to be against me, how every force of nature seemed to be yielding it's powers against my efforts, and no matter how much I set myself up to be the victim of the situation, somehow talking with people calmly and lovingly seems to have cleared every single little crazy thought that the enemy would have thrown at me to derail me! I am so incredibly thankful that I have people around me that are willing to talk with me about... well just talk!

Now this has led me to ponder for a while; How can I become better at talking this kind of thing out with people even when I feel as if I'm the last person they'll ever want to talk to? I had to write this down somewhere or else I'd forget this amazing sensation of peace that I'm experiencing right now... so does anyone have any ideas?

Tagged?

I'm not sure if this is what it means to be tagged... but whatever it is, WERNER DID IT TO ME! check out his blog cuz he's the Cat's Pajamas when it comes to bloggers!

Four Jobs I've Had:
>Panago delivery type person
>Recycling pickup driver guy
>Stockerish guy for Slegg lumber
>Resolution Specialist for AT&T

Four films I could watch over and over again:
~Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
~Constant Gardener
~Witnesses
~Romeo & Juliet

Four Places I've lived:
~Sidney
~Sidney
~Elsewhere in Sidney
~Somewhere else in Sidney

Four TV Shows I Love:
-The OC
-Family Guy
-House
-Ummm... the news?

Four Places I've Vacationed:
(never vacationed anywhere all that exotic)
.:.Calgary (pretty much a cowboy now)
.:.Ukraine (but that was for a missions trip)
.:.London (only for about a day)
.:.Yay Coons!

Four of My Favorite Foods:
}Casadillas
}Tacos
}Baked goat cheese with roasted garlic
}Veal cuttlets?

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
`www.camosun.bc.ca (well, i am a college student now)
`www.joystiq.com (cuz i'm a closet geek)
`www.google.com... a mans gotta search after all!
`www.homestarrunner.com!

Four Albums I Like Alot:
!They're Only Chasing Safety - Underoath
!New Medicines - Dead Poetic (please finish your new album!!!)
!Sometimes - City & Color (mmmhmmm Dallas i love you)
!In Love & Death - The Used

Four Cars I've Owned:
> White 1985 Toyota Corolla
> I rode a scooter once...
> Good'ol faithful etnies
> Oh, I crashed a Honda CRV once too

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
~Australia
~Hmm, not Spain.
~Bristol? yes
~In bed... goodnight

Convince me

Well, it's no secret that the bible was written by real people, and even more specifically to real people. So God inspired letters, and historical documents, and all sorts of things that we now call “the Bible”. But people still wrote it… and last time I checked, we're not perfect yet.

Paul finds it important enough to specifically mention in 1 Cor 7 that it is “I, not the Lord” who is about to speak.

So what I’m getting at is that I’m not being convinced here of the establishments perspective of the bible being a mystical book that popped into existence from no one but God's will. But I’m not entirely sure I need to be…

God's word has so much more depth than the words in which are chosen to be displayed in print on a page. It’s poetry that carries the heart of the living God in and through it. Sure sometimes a little bit of clarity can be found by understand what word for Love was being used, or how many times it’s mentioned in the new testament… but I’m way more concerned with how God feels about what I’m reading. I’m far more concerned with what the Holy Spirit is going to tell to me while I’m reading, because just like it says in 1 Cor 7 : 11 – 14, only the Spirit of God knows God’s heart.

But we can get in on it.

Poetry in Motion

This is something I found while rummaging around in my blog today. I think I wrote it sometime in February, and I'm not sure why I never posted it. Hopefully someone enjoys it.

When your reading T.S. Eliot, you can read word by word and find the most accurate definitions of the words used and logically and systematically define every single one of his works and what was exactly intended. And any English major or fan of his works would say you massacred it... because you probably did. Poetry is an art form that surpases many barriers that the english language has created. There is a flow, there is a feeling, there is so much more than you could define in a dictionary (or concordance). A poem might say one thing to one person, and another to the next. Poetry isn't only about sending a message like "Love is fleeting" or "Joy conquers", but so much of what makes poetry beautiful is that it reveals something about human nature in yourself. As you peel the words away, you start to see your humanity, your frailty, your pain.

Even the simplest person can walk into the Sistene Chapel and be amazed by the wonder of the massive paintings across the ceiling; Yet someone else who studied Michelangelo and dug deeper could come to appreciate this art in a whole new way if they knew that he had spent four years of his life on his back, day and night, painting to see this vision come to life. How much does a simple little fact like that reveal about his determination and passion?

Have you ever considered what God was feeling when he was wrestling with the isrealites in the desert? Did you ever stop to think what message God hoped would be sent when he gave us the imagery of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? There is a real person behind the words when Eliot says "Let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky"; There is a loving God crying out for a broken and lost people when he gave us his word.

“For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” --

Questioninginging

Ya know what's sort of funny... I'm getting annoyed with my relationship with God. I have been neatly formed into this mould that we've been creating in "Church" for years . You listen, you accept, and you live. Now I'm starting to see that this mould doesn't really fit with God's plan for people, and I've got some good role models from the word that seem to agree with me.

David, to me, is one of the best examples of someone wearing his relationship with God on his sleeve. How much of the Psalms were of David crying out in anguish and not understanding what was going on and why things were going the way they were? He never just accepted things and said "Oh, I must have been a bad boy and deserve it... oh well!" Come on, that's not the David we know and love! He hardly ever shut up about that kind of stuff, and I am not led to believe that God was annoyed with David's rantings. How would it end up taking up so much of the Bible? There's something here God's trying to tell us...

Back to me for a moment though. I find myself in situations every day that I don't always understand or enjoy, but I've been conditioned to accept that everything is how it should be and that my perspective must be wrong. Things aren't always how they should be... that's a part of our call to bring heaven to earth; If heaven was already on earth, then that would seem a little silly wouldn't it? Shit happens because we're a fallen people. Now that doesn't mean God's not here with us through it.

Back to David; Amid his rantings and ravings, he questions a lot of things. How will our understanding of God ever deepen if we don't ask questions. Facing our doubts about how things are, who we are and even who God is helps God lead us to a more intimate relationship with him.

It feels like I'm unable to question God. I feel as if I'm telling the creator of the universe that He had it wrong and that I have it right, but that's not how it is at all! That can't be right... how do I find the kind of intimacy and closeness that David had with God if I can't even question him. I don't think that's how it was meant to be. It just can't be. So I hope I'll have some sort of update on this journey of mine, but I feel like I'm a baby at this questioning thing... hopefully God will teach me a thing or two sometime soon.

Challenges and Growth

Rob Petkau, my pastor, has recently stepped down from his role as the youth pastor of Sidney Pentecostal Church and has stepped into a new stage of God's plan for him and Jaime. I love Rob and I will miss him as my youth pastor.

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."

That's something I've always believed and I think God has just proven that again. He's called me (at least for a short time) to step into a part of the role that was left empty when Rob resigned. So not only am I worship leader extraordinaire, I am now a part of the three person team designed to stand in the leadership vacuum until further notice. Until further notice? Hrmm...

I am as excited as (or maybe even more than) most about what God is going to do in the near future for the youth at Sid Pen, but paired with that is a bit of the good old fear of the unknown. Since the whole situation has arisen quicker than I have been able to process it, I'm still working on that. How long can three people pretend to be one? Not that I don't love Mike and Matt (my other halves in this adventure) but we are not the same people and do not have the same mind. I think that one hundred times more important than the details that need to be dealt with, is the communication and unity of the leadership right now. What happens when we run into something that we don't agree on? What happens when I'm wrong but they don't tell me? Some questions like these have already been answered, but I'm still full of unknowns. For the most part, I think that as long as we share what God's putting on our hearts, God will sort out the consequent parts. But that still leaves, what is this painting of youth ministry going to resemble when the dust settles?

I certainly wouldn't have been my own first choice for this responsibility, but I seem to have been God's first choice. I do look forward to the many challenges that I see in the future. Challenges bring growth and I could always use some of that.