I'd imagine that you start to see the world in perspective when the end is in sight, and I believe that was true for my Grandma during these last few months. Sometimes I felt bad that it took a lump of cancerous cells on her ovaries to motivate me to go see her more often, but it didn't feel like placing blame was going to help, so I delicately laid my guilt to rest so we could concern ourselves with what really mattered. From my visits, it was clear what really mattered to my Grandma.
Recently I have been in a kind of church limbo. Regularly attending different churches but not calling any of them my own. I never thought of my Grandma as a particularly spiritual person, but it seems she knew the value of church community. Of all the things we talked about, the one thing that she never failed to ask was whether I had found a new church yet. I'm not sure whether or not she would have been so persistent in different circumstances, but if there was anything she wanted to have told me, she couldn't have been more clear than this. She knew the value of belonging to a church community, and desperately wanted me to understand that as well.
The last thoughts of my dying Grandmother for me were fixed resolutely on community in Christ. The least I could do is fix my thoughts likewise... any thoughts?
Eileen Hicks, 1918 - 2006
7 comments:
Wow,
As someone who is on a similar journey, I found that inspiring.
Thanks
Hey man... so sorry to hear about your grandma...the last weeks and days are really precious, and like you I felt bad that it took a sickness to get me to see her (mine) more.. but they were precious nonetheless.
It's funny you mention this about community because Anna and I were musing about this very thing the other day.. I know for us right now our church community is a huge comfort factor for us as we've been away from home so much - but then we realize that our "community" is not limited to those in the 4 walls if you catch my drift. Church is happening all the time...everywhere... and I think part of this is that whether you are in one church or ten.... is that we maintain some form of continuity and consistence to "those that we count as part of our community" because it is there that the support and encouragement and comfort exists...
Make sense? Just some thoughts =)
Your thoughts are always welcome Richard. And yes, it makes more sense than some might realize.
Sorry for your loss Graham, it was hard on me when I lost my Grandfather - I felt priviledged to have been able to spend even a moment with someone who had a part in creating my world, and the one I live in.
It's encouraging to hear others questioning community and what it entails. I am lately considering just what community and fellowship is and how it translates into my relationship with g-d.
I am sorry if this is counter-Christian-culture of me to say...but I am tired of hearing about community, and "what is it? what does it look like?". Is it just presumptuious (sp?) of me to think that we all already know what community is supposed to look like? And if this is so, why don't we stop questioning it so much and just...be it?
(On the other hand, it's great to question things if you aren't sure. So, if you are unsure...question away. It's just that I am already pretty sure, and probably a little frustrated at my own lack of 'do'.)
all i know is that i thought i was being it kaela. but i think, as it turns out, that i was actually quite numb to the feeling of community because i was constantly surrounded church people.
i'm now afraid that if i simply find a new place to surround myself with church people i will fall into that numbness once again. i'm not a huge fan of that really...
Great post!!! I have been reflecting on this much lately as well. A journey of finding a community is an interesting one. Glad your grandma was tenacious about it. We need more like her.
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