Why love?

Over the last few months God has been challenging in love. Loving someone that I don't want to love. I would love to hate him actually. My flesh produces jealousy which feeds hate. My flesh loves hate. Is that me? Is that Satan? I don't know sometimes. I don't want to think that's me. God made me and he didn't make me like that did he? Hate disgusts me yet something in me still hates...well at least it still disgusts me...

Jesus said that the greatest commandment was this; "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." I'm starting to think that it's not just coincidence that this command is followed by his command to love each other (our neighbours). Loving my neighbours has started first by loving my God.

The only part that I have to yet deal with is the issue of forgiveness. I can't love and not forgive and neither can I forgive but not love. But the dawn awakens and I need some zzz's... forgiveness will have to wait.

hehehe...