Questioninginging

Ya know what's sort of funny... I'm getting annoyed with my relationship with God. I have been neatly formed into this mould that we've been creating in "Church" for years . You listen, you accept, and you live. Now I'm starting to see that this mould doesn't really fit with God's plan for people, and I've got some good role models from the word that seem to agree with me.

David, to me, is one of the best examples of someone wearing his relationship with God on his sleeve. How much of the Psalms were of David crying out in anguish and not understanding what was going on and why things were going the way they were? He never just accepted things and said "Oh, I must have been a bad boy and deserve it... oh well!" Come on, that's not the David we know and love! He hardly ever shut up about that kind of stuff, and I am not led to believe that God was annoyed with David's rantings. How would it end up taking up so much of the Bible? There's something here God's trying to tell us...

Back to me for a moment though. I find myself in situations every day that I don't always understand or enjoy, but I've been conditioned to accept that everything is how it should be and that my perspective must be wrong. Things aren't always how they should be... that's a part of our call to bring heaven to earth; If heaven was already on earth, then that would seem a little silly wouldn't it? Shit happens because we're a fallen people. Now that doesn't mean God's not here with us through it.

Back to David; Amid his rantings and ravings, he questions a lot of things. How will our understanding of God ever deepen if we don't ask questions. Facing our doubts about how things are, who we are and even who God is helps God lead us to a more intimate relationship with him.

It feels like I'm unable to question God. I feel as if I'm telling the creator of the universe that He had it wrong and that I have it right, but that's not how it is at all! That can't be right... how do I find the kind of intimacy and closeness that David had with God if I can't even question him. I don't think that's how it was meant to be. It just can't be. So I hope I'll have some sort of update on this journey of mine, but I feel like I'm a baby at this questioning thing... hopefully God will teach me a thing or two sometime soon.