Ok, time for some self righteous preaching. I get soooo annoyed when I meet shallow people. Sometimes they are nice and stuff... But there's something that I can't quite overlook about them, and somehow it makes me more self conscious because I think they are judging me from my appearance. Not that I'm generally very concerned with my appearance (the little bit that I am we can blame those people for) but I feel like dropping down one of my self-righteous condemnations and telling them who's right (me of course!)
That being said... I think I've noticed an interesting aspect of "shallownessinishnesssss" in myself. It's sort of hard to tell because I've always pretended to be so down on shallow people and such that I'd hate to think I've been a hypocrite all these years. But this is what I'm talking about. I've had a lot of time to think about the kind of girl that I'm looking for, and...
I'm pretty sure that I would don't want to start dating a smart girl.
Hmm... That did sound about as bad in type as it did in my head. It's not like I'm looking for a bimbo or some sort of simpleton, but for some reason I don't really think I would want to date a really smart girl. I'm kind of competitive about my intelligence sometimes if you haven't noticed, and I think that the person I spend the rest of my life pursuing needs to let me be the brains. Now that being said, she can be an amazing writer, or artist, or athlete, or cook (mmmhmmm) or whatever else she is and I would absolutely love that, but is it shallow to not want a really intelligent girl? I hope not...
ps. i'm not hate'n on smart girls... I just might not want to marry them!
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14 comments:
I don't see why you wouldn't though. I mean, it's all good to be competitive and that cal, but wouldn't a girl near to your intellect inspire you to become smarter? Wouldn't that arouse your competitiveness a little more, becoming smarter all the time? At least you wouldn't be slacking off, right? I just think you've made a silly restriction. Figuring out what you like doesn't have to make you shallow does it?
"I mean, it's all good to be competitive and that cal, but wouldn't a girl near to your intellect inspire you to become smarter?"
It's all well and good to inspire competitiveness between peers I guess... but that's just not what I'm looking for in a lady. I don't want my pride to get in the way of that relationship, ya know?
I don't know if you are looking at smartness in the right way. I think you're just looking for someone who isn't smart in the same areas as you. I mean it makes sense to not want to be with someone who is smarter than you in the same areas... but everyone is smarter than everyone else, you just have to give them the right subject. I am assuming you don't want someone who is brain dead.... so just don't date the girl in all your classes who knows more than you. It only makes you shallow if you want someone who is dumb for the sake of being the better person in the relationship or assuming that a smart girl isn't going to be right for you looks wise or personality just cuz they're smart. I don't think that what you want is shallow, just be careful how you word it cuz the girl you end up with probably won't like it so much if you make her feel like an idiot.
luv ya, that's the only reason why I actually put my thoughts on this silly contraption... just don't expect me to do it again ;)
Graham... buddy - I appreciate your honesty and your searching heart.
Unfortunatly you are not the first guy to tell me that he doesn't want to date a smart girl... for some reason 'brainy'girls seem intimidating to some guys. In fact for what it's worth I heard a statistic recently that noted that girls who go to university or college are on average less likely to get married. I wonder why that is? Is it because they are too smart? I really hope not.
My Question for you is: What do you consider to smart? Is it someone who thinks they know everything... cause that can be unattractive.
What happens if youre Mrs. right also happens to be a doctor or something are you going to be like sorry.. your'e gorgeous, I like you a lot but you're too smart ... ?
Did you ever consider that since you are smart if you dated a not so smart girl she might just annoy the heck out of you??
I think that setting such a standard only limits you....
And for the record I also think everyone is entitled at least one shallow thought a day. It keeps us balanced. Too much perfection and down to earthness is not healthy.... and besides a little does of humilty doesn't kill anybody.
actually, ya know what. I would love to date a super smart doctor. I would know so much more about what i know than they would that it would be great. and they would know so much more about doctor stuff than i would, and that would also be great!
It's not the "overall smartness" that i think i'm worried about anymore because... let's be honest, i'm going to need a girl with a whole lot of street smarts (cuz i'm sorta lacking in that dept sometimes :P) but i think that i agree with you on that one important part. I hope i dont limit myself and say "No, your gorgeous and amazing, and everything else that i've ever wanted... but your better at mechanics and statics of materials testing than i am so no". So this is still very much so up in the air kimmy. thanks for brings me to this point here. i'm the first to admit that i dont have it figured out yet...
so does this mean when I meet your wife I can bring up this blog post and tell her that her IQ is undoubtebly lower than yours because you woulnd't go with a smart chick? Haha...that would be fun...
I got you bro... Consider this; I one day realized that after a lifetime of thinking some people were "shallow" and some were "deep", that in fact, all are equally deep... the difference is merely that some like to think and talk about it while others don't!
I hope you find a girl who is wiser (not neccesarily "smart") than you are, wise enough to understand how to support your gifts, not threaten them. I am speaking from experience and it is goooood.
Cheers.
Hey G-Man, I think I know exactly what you are talking about, and it isn't necessarily "smart" that you seem to be having problems with so much as a girl who "know" too much about everything.
Its not so bad for the stereotypical sporty/jocky/whatever guy who maybe isn't so much into having deep conversations about politics and religion and those sorts of "deep" topics, but for guys like us, we like to think we have something to say. Those "smart" girls that irk me aren't irksome because they're smart but because they can never let anyone win an argument or admit defeat.
I think it is a maturity issue in a lot of ways - the emphasis on being right over being somebody's friend/partner.
Anyway there's my rant on the subject.
So what your talking about isn't nessicarilly smartness... it's intellectual compatability! See, I understand that one perfectly. I'm in a same situation. Right now the most attractive thing about a girl is their ability to grasp what i'm talking about. There are people (not only girls) that I make comments and not only do they understand, but I have to explain every little detail. Not because they don't have information, but because they aren't able to communicate with me on that level.
Wanting intellectual compatability isn't being picky or shallow. It's being realistic and demonstrating maturity in what you value. Right ON!
I need to edit before I post. Like i leave out words and everything.
After 30 years of marriage, I can honestly say the " smartness factor " was never a concern. For me it was the reality, the I'm filled with holes, cracks and a multitude of imperfections. I wanted a person that could fill those spaces...making me a better person.In the end, it's about making each other whole and becoming one. To me, working at that makes both people smart. Hope that makes sense. Good luck in the hunt of the IQ eligable woman. Whoa!!!! I think we're on to something here...the making of a new reality show.
Hey Graham, I think some people find it threatening to be in a relationship with someone who is smarter than them but I think that could be when they are smart in the same areas because they may have conflicting opinions on things. Personally I've always found smart guys attractive because I love to have intelligent conversation. I think it would be great to meet a guy who was smart at all the things I'm not so that we could rule the world! Anyways you should check out my blog sometime...
Laterdays...:)
To go further with the "intellectual compatibility" thing, again, smart ain't the problem, because like Caleb said, you don't want to have to be explaining every little thing to a person.
Having a diversity of passions is probably important, because the last person you'd really want to be with, if you were, say a fired up, politically informed and opinionated right-winger, would be a fired up, politically informed and opinionated left-winger. Oh my lord, the constant fighting over who knows better would be both torturous and pointless.
Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with having strong opinions, but you'd probably be better served finding a mate who has strong opinions about something else :)
so maybe i need to refine my plan here. and the winner is.... RON! hehe, and by that i mean, that's pretty much in line with what i think i'm trying to say, or at least what i should be trying to say.
I dont just want someone who isn't as smart as me, but more importantly, someone who fills my many imperfections and equally, allows me to fill their holes and cracks to make us a whole person. that sounds very nice indeed.
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